It’s probably you.
I know you want to place it out there. I know you want to blame something or someone. I know you want to justify inaction with unfair circumstances.
But maybe that resistance you’re feeling is because facing change is hard.
Maybe that anger you’re feeling is about a boundary you didn’t hold.
Maybe that blame you’re casting is intertwined with your own ego.
Maybe it’s your belief that you don’t deserve the happiness right in front of you.
For a moment it always feels good throwing it out into the universe and convincing yourself it’s not yours to own.
But it’s probably you.
As Brené Brown said so brilliantly in her recent Netflix show, you’re probably working your shit out on other people.
Your pain, anger, loneliness and fear. It’s not about them. They didn’t do it to you. Or if they triggered it, it likely wasn’t on purpose. (Heck, they probably don’t even know you’re currently holding them hostage in your perception of it.)
During my run yesterday, I let a LOT of thoughts come up – the ones I fear feeling because they show me all my stuff. Every time I think I’m done with it, another lesson comes my way. I get angry, and then I surrender. (And then I usually run.)
Because here’s how it works: When I am making a big, brave decision, I ALWAYS bump up against my limiting belief related to playing big. I like to revert to playing small (and pretend I’m content there) because I fear who I’ll be with success. My definition of success has less to do with money or achievement and so much more to do with ease. (That’s a story for another time.)
So it’s good news to feel this discomfort, but damnit it’s still exhausting.
So yeah girl, I see you. These trenches are hard, but stay in them.
Because here’s the most powerful and amazing thing: If it’s about you, it’s about YOU.
You hold all the power.
You get to decide.
It’s your story to write.
Decide with me to do the work and see what you’re capable of. See what’s waiting for you.
Hard, yes. Worth it, beyond measure.