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Showing up and loving hard

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During our Flower Hour virtual chat a couple of Fridays ago, I shared this idea of sending shirts to our country’s frontline heroes. I talked about not really knowing how we’d do it or what it would look like, but that I was determined to find a way to bring hope — even if just for a moment — to all these selfless and brave people who were keeping us safe.

The next day I received a message from a dear friend and longtime #FFCrew member who was on the chat, and she wrote, “I want to help, and I can help.”

And here’s where I pause in the story, because every single time I’ve offered my heart out to you guys, it never fails that you show up. The generosity and giving spirit of this community is like nothing I’ve ever seen. Every time I have been challenged, one of you steps in. Every time I have questioned my path, one of you sends an email telling me to stay strong. Every time I have offered an idea, one of you comes through and offers to help and bring it to life.

This idea — and your response — is no different.

Thanks to my dear friend, we’ve already got 100 sponsored shirts purchased and on their way to nurses, doctors and other healthcare professionals.

To make this happen, we joined forces with 608 Threads, my husband’s screen printing shop. Jason and I both decided that when this is over, we want to look back and know we did everything we could to make a difference and thank our heroes.

I know a t-shirt doesn’t solve anything, and I know it doesn’t fix what’s going on.

But I have to believe that doing something to keep our community connected is better than nothing. I have to believe that our frontline heroes knowing and feeling how much they are appreciated matters, especially right now.

Last week I saved a quote that crossed my newsfeed: After all this is over, all that will have really mattered is how we treated each other.

It’s not business as usual right now. It’s love, support and giving what we can for those who need it and for those risking their lives to keep us safe. When this is over, Jason and I want to know that we used our businesses and efforts for good.

We’ve never been more proud to be small business owners, and we’ve never been more committed to doing what we can to help people through this.

xo,
Mel

‘I am here too’: Nora’s story

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Nora Clement’s story began with a challenge, but as her mom Sarah has always insisted, it doesn’t define her.

Courageous, conscientious, kind, talented — those words are much better descriptors of this 14-year-old Michigan freshman whose brave spirit inspired the Believe flower.

We asked the aspiring writer to share more about herself and her story.

Please tell us a bit about you! What are your favorite activities?

I enjoy reading, writing, art and ballet. I like to write fiction stories where the characters go on adventures. I spend a lot of time developing the characters and plots. I hope to someday become a published writer. To say I’d like to be a famous writer seems farfetched, yet one never knows.

We have heard that you’re also a beautiful artist.

I am drawn to art because I enjoy things that allow me to be creative. I like to create because it helps convey feelings and emotions. I like to draw things that inspire me  — that is why I draw a lot of strong women : )

Can you please tell us about your sight?

I am completely blind in my right eye. In my left eye, things far away look a bit fuzzy/blurry. When I say far away, I mean I am sitting at the kitchen table with my mom and the stove clock is blurry. I don’t remember ever being fully sighted, so I don’t think about it in terms of how it is different.

In school, I use my sight but rely more on remembering things I hear. I feel I have a strong memory. I cannot distinguish facial features if people are more than six to eight feet away, but if I have met someone before and I know their personality and their body movements, I can more easily tell who they are.

What has your diagnosis and journey with your eyesight meant for you?

I have kind of just learned to adapt and overcome with the challenges that come with my sight. It’s been something I live with, not a limiting obstacle. I approach my doctor’s appointments with an open mind. When I go for my eye appointments, I try to stay positive. I do get nervous about possibly losing my eyesight but I try to not focus on it.

What role does your sight play in who you are as a person?

I think my sight makes me a little more of a cautious person and aware of my surroundings.

I am pretty open about who I am as a person, but something I think people might assume or misunderstand is that I am a very scared or timid person. I am more of a calm person but not to a point of being overly timid. Timid seems unsure of oneself, yet I feel sure of myself.

What three words best describe you?

I am creative, hard-working and a good listener. In terms of being a hard worker, I care about what I do.

When, where or how do you feel the most like yourself?

I feel the most like myself when I am performing. It feels so amazingly freeing. Or when I am just hanging out with close friends.

What does bravery mean to you? 

Bravery to me means still being scared but not letting the fear stop you from doing what you want to do. Courageous people don’t let fear stop them from achieving their dreams.

In what ways are you most brave?

I think I am brave because I let my fears speak but I don’t let them dictate how I live my life. I don’t let them control me. I acknowledge the fear but I don’t let it stop me from doing something I want to do. On my first day of high school this year, I was somewhat worried that a senior would say something negative but I thought to myself, I am here too. I have the right to be here.

How is your mom most brave?

My mom helps me be brave. She helps me overcome the challenges that come with life. She supports me yet holds me accountable. I think she is brave because she’s not afraid to face challenges when something gets hard. When she has a goal, she doesn’t just hide it away. She wants to finish that goal.

If you could change your sight, how would you — or wouldn’t you at all?

There is definitely some logistical things that having “better” vision would make easier, but overall I am pretty comfortable with my vision the way it is and it is not really something I feel overly insecure about.

What does it mean to you to have the turquoise flower inspired by you?

Truly, I think it’s really cool and pretty amazing that I could help young girls or women by sharing my story. It inspires me that people are inspired by me. It helps me believe in myself.

Who or what inspires you most?

Mainly the women in my life. Being surrounded by some pretty amazing women like my mom, stepmom and my closest friends is where I am inspired the most. I am inspired by their determination of going through every day and putting their best foot forward.

How are you a good sister to Lila?

To be a good sister, I try to be a good role model for her and to do that I think of who I look up to and try to apply those traits. I want to teach her kindness and patience and courage and that it is okay to mess up but to just keep trying. I try to be kind and patient and hope that she will learn from that.

What advice do you have for someone who doesn’t think she can be brave?

If you can rely on a good support system, you will have a team to help you rise and accomplish your challenges. Don’t face challenges by yourself — keep the people you care about and those who care about you in your heart. Draw your courage from them. The people who love and support you will help you build up your strength and courage.

– Katie Vaughn

Thank you, Nora, for sharing your story and insights with us! You are truly an inspiration.

Stepping into brave: Sarah’s story

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We don’t get to choose the moments that change our lives. But if we’re brave, we let them make us stronger.

When Sarah Weaver was pregnant with her daughter Nora, she had no indication that one of her baby’s chromosomal proteins had shifted in the first weeks of development, causing a dysplasia. Only when Nora was born and placed on Sarah’s chest did she learn that her daughter had some differences in her fingers, eyes and facial features. Sarah assumed a doctor could “correct” the abnormalities and the family would be on their way. That was not how Nora’s story unfolded.

“Nora has endured close to 30 surgeries, with most of them being from birth to age 5,” says Sarah. “She used to cry when entering parking garages because she knew what that meant.”

Each surgery lasted between three and four hours, and twice Nora underwent emergency eye surgery for glaucoma, in addition to eye muscle surgery. The family breathed a sigh of relief for a year after those procedures, until an eye infection destroyed the interior of Nora’s right eye. More surgeries followed to try to save her eyesight, but at age three, Nora was diagnosed as blind in that eye. In her left eye, Nora has only 20/80 vision, and there is a chance that she will lose her sight completely one day.

From the start, Sarah knew she had to be fighter for Nora. And since those terrifying early days, Sarah has found a peace about Nora’s diagnosis, and drawn incredible strength from her daughter, who is now 14.

“How could I live in fear when my job was to give her wings to conquer her fears?” Sarah says. “I recall crying quietly in the shower when she was young, as the tears mixed with hot water streamed down my face. I prayed for strength to endure Nora’s journey with her. I got that strength and it was because of Nora. She bravely accepted who she was and her journey. She has never once complained about ‘Why me?’ She bravely steps into her life and lives it with a quiet confidence.”

For both Sarah and Nora, being strong means living with fear and many unknowns.

“I used to pray that she would not go blind, that somehow God will forever preserve what is left,” Sarah says. “However, that only caused fear. I had to accept it so that I could help Nora accept it, or at least be open to the possibility of it. We don’t dwell in the what-ifs, but we acknowledge them. We allowed ourselves to say it out loud, to feel the uneasy feelings in our chests and breathe in the unknown. We then set it aside and went on living with what is.”

That approach has included expanding the family. After Sarah and her then-husband came to terms with how rare Nora’s condition is — fewer than 300 people worldwide are diagnosed with it — they welcomed daughter Lila in 2009.

Sarah hoped Lila could be someone for Nora to lean on, but the sisters’ relationship has become much richer.

“Nora and Lila have a genuine bond,” Sarah says. “Lila relies on Nora for ways to navigate life. She looks to Nora for advice and support. She values Nora’s insight and experiences. Nora enjoys Lila’s free spirit and energy. Nora loves watching Lila navigate middle school. She has a genuine joy for Lila’s stories and experiences. I foster respect between them by teaching them the give and take of relationships.”

Sarah has worked to teach her daughters that their family is a team, even as it’s changed, such as when she and her husband divorced and, later, when each remarried. And she’s modeled for her girls what it means to be brave.

“I was brave when I became a mom and I haven’t stopped being brave ever since,” Sarah says. “Bravery is my armor, for I have no other choice. I was brave when I got divorced and had to tell our children how their lives would change. I was brave when I let their step-mom tuck them into bed. I was brave when I watched my children enter their new home without me there. It is never about who they love more. Love is free.”

Sarah has been courageous in her professional life as well, pushing through challenges to become a speech-language pathologist at a public elementary school in Michigan, as well as an adjunct instructor at Northern Michigan University. She is also a registered yoga instructor and teaches family yoga classes and yoga for athletes at the university level.

And because of her courageous and open spirit, Sarah helped plant the seed for what would become Fellow Flowers. She was one of the 14 women who agreed to run a half marathon together in 2011. Because Sarah shared her personal story in the weeks of training, she invited the others to do the same.

“I wanted to connect with the women because my why of wanting to run the race was to evolve, to breath in new directions and welcome in change,” she says. “I doubted my potential when I began training, yet over the course of training, I became powerful in my soul. I realized my self-worth and wanted to share Nora’s story, which was my story, too.”

The race was also an opportunity for Sarah to show Nora another way of being brave.

“I wanted to run so that Nora could physically see me reach for a goal and accomplish it,” she says. “I have since learned that it isn’t the finish line that it is as important for your children to see as it is the journey. They need to see you deep in the commitment that you made. They need to see you trudging on even when it is hard. They need to witness you feeling a multitude of emotions. They need to witness the journey of grit and determination which makes crossing that finish line so rewarding.”

When Fellow Flowers began developing its signature flowers, it was natural to choose Sarah and Nora as the inspiration for turquoise, the “Believe” flower.

“The turquoise flower means defying the odds, running your own race and not letting your challenges define you,” says Sarah. “Early on, I was determined to not let the diagnosis define Nora. It was part of her but it would not define her. We all have parts of ourselves that are less than ideal, but we have to learn to honor that while not letting them define us. We have that choice. Knowing Nora has inspired it is humbling. Nora exemplifies the soul of the turquoise flower. She may never run a race or cross a finish line in the most concrete definition, yet every day she runs her own race and crosses her own finish line.”

Nora is now a freshman in high school. She’s an artist and a writer and a dancer. A friend, daughter and sister. Funny, with a contagious sense of humor. Principled and conscientious. Courageous to the core.

“Nora is brave every damn day,” Sarah says. “I watch her walk into the high school with her shoulders back and head held high. I listen to her describe her classes and what she needs to succeed. I watch her advocate for herself and her potential. She is brave by getting up every day, accepting who she is and marching forward with joy in her heart.”

And Nora proves that while her story may start with a challenge, it certainly doesn’t end there.

“Nora’s story is filled with medical research papers that document the possible lifelong disabilities that may or may not result as she grows and develops,” Sarah says. “Research says she my go blind. Research says a lot, but it doesn’t say who she will become or who she at her core. It doesn’t say she will thrive despite the challenges. It doesn’t say she will inspire. It doesn’t say she will become a famous writer and use her gifts to light up the world. Nora means light and she continues to defy the odds. She continues to light up the world just by honoring who she is. Nora’s story is inspiring, and courageous, and I am grateful to be her mom.”

– Katie Vaughn

Thank you, Sarah, for sharing your story with us. We’ll have more from Nora herself next week, so please stay tuned!

Because Sarah was brave

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When I think of where I am now, I realize everything started with Sarah Weaver.

All of this — Fellow Flowers, me becoming an entrepreneur, me recognizing how and why stories matter in the lives of women, me really understanding the significance and importance of women having spaces where they can show up and be honest and give the true version of who they are without fear of judgement — all of this, all of my path, comes from a moment when Sarah decided to be brave.

It goes back all the way to the origin, the start of putting a flower in my hair. All the way back to 2011, when a group of women decided to run a race together.

At the time, there wasn’t really social media or Facebook groups, and texting wasn’t really even a thing. So we communicated by email. We did not all know each other either — in many ways, we were just an ordinary group of busy women who said yes to running a race in honor a dear friend we all loved. When this journey started, that was the thread that connected us. I still remember getting that heartfelt “thank you for saying yes to my birthday wish!” email from Tori and feeling a sense of excitement to training for and running this race with all these women.

And that could have been enough.

But what Sarah did — and what changed the trajectory of EVERYTHING for me — is she hit ‘reply all.’

And she said, to a group of women, some of whom she did not know, “Hi, my name is Sarah and I want to tell you why I said yes and I want to tell you why I am running.”

When I look back at this moment, I’ve realized how incredibly defining it was for our entire journey, and for me to understand the importance of showing up with your story. She did not have to do that. She did not have to hit reply and share her story with any of us. But in her story, in her bigger story of who she was — particularly in that moment of her life where she had given so much of her energy to fighting and being an advocate and being a parent to her daughter, Nora, who had been dealt a hand that was so unfair — Sarah’s whole journey of being a mother had taken priority.

And this invitation to train and run this race became a moment when she realized, as much as I want to save Nora and protect Nora, I also have to save myself. I also have to remember who I am. And maybe if I can show up strong and confident and capable, no matter what Nora’s journey is, she will know and she will see and she will remember her mother in this way.

For those who don’t know the story, Nora is blind in one eye and has very limited vision in her other eye. And I remember Sarah writing about how she wanted Nora, if she does go blind someday, and if she cannot see someday, in that moment be able to witness and watch her mom in many ways take her power back and be brave in her own journey and celebrate all that she had overcome, all that she was as a mother and a woman.

And I remember reading those words of Sarah’s, and everything changed for me.

Suddenly, it wasn’t about running a race anymore. It was about, I wonder if I have a story here too. It allowed me to consider that there were things within my own journey that I needed to explore or uncover or take some time with.

Here I was thinking that it was just going to be about miles and a finish line and training and checking the boxes of a training plan. And what Sarah did for all of us was she extended this invitation to think of it as something bigger.

Sarah helped me realize in that very first email to this group of women that when you run, you attach it to something bigger.

There is an intention. There is a purpose. There is a why.

There is a reason that you go out there and you put one foot in front of another. And if you don’t pay attention to that why and that reason, you miss it. You miss the whole purpose of being out there as a runner. You go through that whole journey and you miss THE BEST PART.

That’s what Sarah did for me as a runner. She did that without even knowing it. And she did it by simply showing up as herself, speaking her truth and sharing her story. And I will never ever forget how that changed me and what it kind of woke up inside me that I too was a woman with a story.

So, Sarah, thank you. Thank you for being the brave one. Thank you for being that brave woman who realized that for that journey to matter, and to be something, your story had to be a part of it.

And because you shared your story, you created a ripple effect for the rest of us to share ours. To discover ours. To realize that we had a story and, most importantly, that our stories were worth telling. I am forever grateful for you and for Nora for giving me that.

xo,
Mel

Registration for our Believe virtual run is now open. And stay tuned for more on Sarah and Nora!

Ready to Believe?

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Believe.

Our most popular flower. One of my most favorite stories. Inspired by my dear friend Sarah and her daughter, both of whom could have taken all the unfair battles and challenges and made that their story, but instead showed us how to walk — and then run — bravely through them.

Over the years, I’ve watched Sarah own the story of this flower in many different ways — as a runner, a mother, a woman and a friend. I’ve learned many things from her, but the most powerful and impactful has been this:

Run your own race — different, beautiful and all your own. 

This flower represents every woman who has fallen down seven times and gotten up eight. This flower represents the underdogs and the ones who’ve been counted out or the ones the world bet against. This flower is about making the decision to believe in yourself.

Believe that what you’re doing can change the world.

Believe that what you’re doing can change one woman’s life.

Believe that we can be beautifully unique and connected all at the same time.

Believe that every woman’s story matters.

Believe that when one woman shares her story, it gives another woman the courage to share hers.

Believe that there’s no one else who can do it quite like you.

Believe that sharing your gifts will make the world a better, more connected place.

Believing in yourself is a never-ending process. You’re never done. The world is going to keep giving you reasons to give up or listen to your fear, and ways to play small and shrink your voice.

Our Believe virtual run is on the horizon. Details to come soon!

xo,
Mel

On lighting matches to crazy dreams

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I spent this past weekend tracking one of my closest friends as she raced the Marquette Marathon, and really, chased a dream she’s been working toward since 2016. Amy is my definition of resilience and strength and basically anything else that represents determination. I was clinging to my phone all morning and grateful for good friends for sending me continuous updates.

Twenty years ago she qualified for Boston, and her goal was to get there again.

She crossed the finish line with a time of 3:35.

She needed a 3:50.

Here’s where I need to back it up a bit, because there is more to this story and more to this woman than just these 26.2 miles.


Amy is and always has been a gifted runner. When she wrote down the goal ‘qualify for the Boston Marathon’ on her 2016 Declare It Day declaration, one could have assumed it would be a relatively straight shot toward reaching it.

It was anything but easy.

She spent three years getting her heart broken over and over again with injuries. Every time she would progress in her training, she’d face a devastating setback. At one point, she had to completely take a break from the sport. (When she couldn’t run, she even trained for the famous Birkebeiner ski race.)

When you witness your friend working through an injury, it’s a helpless feeling. You want them to stop because it’s so hard watching them struggle, and yet, you want them to find a way because you know how much it means to them.

I’ve learned you just have to take their lead. 

If they are willing to fight and push through, you just need to be there for them. You don’t have to save them from the pain or heartbreak, you just have to let them know you’re there for it all.

And, let’s be honest, there are enough balloon poppers and nay sayers in the world.

THESE JOBS ARE TAKEN.

So ladies, ours is simple.

Be the friend who supports the crazy dream and the person brave enough to dream it.

Be the friend who says WHY NOT YOU and how can I help?

Be the friend who is there without judgement, just love.

Because when your friend is trying to light her match in the wind, you have two choices – tell her she’s crazy for trying or be the one who blocks the wind.

Amy is also the first person to block the wind for a countless number of women in her life, including me. She shared this Mia Hamm quote with me before her race, and it sums up her day perfectly:

“I am building a fire,
and everyday I train,
I add more fuel.
At just the right moment,
I light the match.”
– Mia Hamm

Amy lit her match during this race.

After three years of building the fire, watching it get ruined, and then building it again, she finally got to light her f’ing match. She wanted it that badly, and she wasn’t going to stop until it was done.

If you’re trying to light your match for the thing you love more than anything, just stay patient. It could take three months. It could take three years. It could take longer. But if it’s worth it to you and it makes you a better you, keep going. It’s your journey, and you decide the path forward.

I bet Amy would tell you that as hard as it was to get to her finish line, she wouldn’t trade any of those lessons for an easier path.

And if you have a friend who is chasing a hard dream and she keeps getting challenged, try not to be the balloon popper. Because remember this – she’s going to do it anyway because her heart knows no different, so you might as well make damn sure she’s got you in her corner.

Stay with her.
Love her.
Support her.
Be the one who blocks the wind.

And Amy, gaaaaaaaah. I’m so freaking proud of you. You lit that match and burned it down. You raced with your heart on your sleeve and with everything you had. You’ve made me stronger for being part of the journey. You’ve helped me recognize the difference between giving up and embracing pain, and you’ve made me want to build a new fire.

I can’t wait for ALL THE MATCHES to come.

Xo
Mel

P.S. This is Amy’s declaration from this past year! I LOVE when I see these goals fought for and accomplished. xo