I ran one mile this past weekend. It was supposed to be 20.
My goal of crossing the Chicago Marathon finish line on October 11 is no more… and it has been a heartbreaking process to move through. For the past 23 days I have been nursing a torn ligament in the arch of my foot. I hesitated to share the news because I thought (in classic runner-style) it was just temporary. Denial set in, followed by frustration, anger and tears as I learned it was more serious.
In talking about my injury with several of you, I’ve realized how many of us are always running through some type of pain or injury. We are hurt, coming back, grinding it out and for some of us, completely sidelined. I realized quickly… I.am.not.alone.
We are a tough crew. Runners are resilient and we push through. We have a mindset of ‘yes I can’ so when our body roars ‘no you can’t’ we get reeeaaaaally pissed off, and it’s hard to accept and listen. The heartbreak is exquisitely painful when there is readiness within us. When the desire to attempt a goal is held back not by your commitment and mental toughness, but by a physical pain you simply can’t overcome.
I know my running legs have a finite number of miles left in them – I’m coming to terms with this more and more as I get older. After two back surgeries as a teenager and career-ending knee problems while playing college basketball, I have learned to love and rest my body whenever I feel even the slightest injury. This requires self-regulation and patience and these are NOT high on my strengths list.