What about the Flowers that are broken? 07/25/2013 by fellowflowers Leave a Comment Before our flower unveiling later this evening, we have to go back…to where it all started….. “What about the Flowers that are broken?” This…this is the question that started the journey of our new flower. It was asked from a young woman, Mollie, who came into our lives this past February during a visit to Jacksonville, Florida. She asked this question from a place of personal pain and healing, as she had recently experienced a miscarriage, but also from a place of hope and new beginnings. “People want to rush me through my grief,” she said. “It’s as if they are uncomfortable watching me go through it. But rushing me through it won’t make it go away.” “I want to feel it. I want to know it. I’m supposed to be here, and I’m okay with that.” The power of her words – the gravity of them – knocked us over. Immediately, we looked at each other. Teary eyes, we knew. This is how all of the flowers have come to life…and this was to be no different. Traveling in the car the next day, it was all we could think about it. We talked about our own lives – and our own pain – and how we’ve each healed (and are self-proclaimed works-in-progress.) The more we talked, the more it came to life. How many of us – at some point in our lives – are in the process of healing? Recovering from our own decisions, life collisions with others, the anticipated, the unexpected, the surface wounds and the deep unforgiving cuts. And yet, whatever the origin, when we’re in the middle of it, we yearn so desperately to get on the other side…away from the pain, the discomfort or the honesty that comes with it. Being vulnerable with how we feel and finding the courage to honor it. Big, big stuff. And there is no, ‘my pain is bigger than your pain’ or ‘my grief should count less than your grief.’ Pain is pain. Grief is grief. There are no boundaries to it, no ranking scale to qualify its burden, no right or wrong way to cope with it. It exists…for all of us…in different forms, at different moments, and for different reasons. But we withhold for fear of comparison. We withdraw because we aren’t sure how to express it. And if all else fails, we pack on the armor, put on the best happy face we can muster and bulldoze our way through it, deflecting and ignoring the hurt along the way. The tragedy… realized in the months of writing about this flower…is in the ‘rushing’ through it. Pre-emptive ways to suppress and ignore, what in reality we know deep in our souls, will never go away unless dealt with. It must be moved through…felt, and experienced. Wholeheartedly, fear and all. That is the essence of this new flower. And oh, the bravery that comes with this process. Your story doesn’t need a happy glee-filled ending…but it’s remembering that the ending is yours, and yours alone. It’s taking your power back. Healing on your own terms. Or as Mollie says, it’s holding on to the hope that you will be okay…and choosing to believe it. As many of you saw from our previous post, Mollie received her silver flower last week via a Google chat with us, surrounded by her dearest friends. And in sharing the story of how her courageous words inspired our new flower, she shared a story of her own. Mollie, with the biggest and most beautiful smile ever, let us know she is pregnant, and is expecting a miracle baby girl this October. Full circle. Indeed. Thank you for letting us share the story of this new flower…enjoy a sneak peek of its color. Soak in its meaning. And yes, a little later this evening the statement card will be unveiled. xo. – Mel & Tori P.S. A huge thanks to Heather Krakora of Krakora Studios for snapping this photo last night…and letting our silver flower shine in the sunset…deep gratitude.