Meet my beautiful mother, Tanya.
This picture was taken in February at the Disney Kid’s Epcot race. While I was busy working the expo, she made sure my children were ready, made it there on time, cheered them on and ran her first one-mile race with Addi. She wasn’t too sure about it at first, but I told her she’d be just fine for a mile, which of course, she was. This week, I noticed this photo is the lock screen on her phone.
My mom would be the first to admit that my decision to transition into the life of Fellow Flowers wasn’t the easiest one for her to understand. And I’d be lying if I said there weren’t moments where I wished she could have just trusted my gut, instinct and go with me on this one. Then I would remind myself that her concern always stemmed from a deep love for me. To watch me walk away from safety, security and what most would consider my dream job, working in a wonderful community where my family’s tradition and pride runs deep, was hard for her to say the least. I’m certain that my carefree way and ‘choose fun’ spirit truly scare the hell out of her. Maybe she wasn’t the first one telling me to go for it, but she never told me not to, and didn’t tell me I was crazy or try to talk me out of it. She needed to process, she needed time to take it all in, she needed to see it for herself.
On Mother’s Day, I want to say thank you.
Mom, thank you for being scared and for taking on the fears for me.
If I had to carry the weight of them myself, I may not have had the courage to take the leap and follow a dream. Thank you for wanting me to have a life of safety and security.
Thank you for loving me so much that you’re afraid to see me struggle, fail, make mistakes or see me hurt. Thank for showing me what hard work, sacrifice and dedication can do for a professional career, for putting your own needs aside as you raised me and making me a priority over yourself. For being in the bleachers-always. Thank you for making the difficult decision to seek love and being brave enough to fight through some tough times to find it. You are a true testament to becoming a better version of yourself through making the difficult choice to divorce. Thank you for being certain that the man you found had a vested interest and love for your children and grandchildren, loving them like his own. Thank you for maintaining a respectful relationship with my Dad. It’s admirable to watch the two of you put your own feelings aside, communicate, rise above and do what’s best for your family. Thank you for showing me the value of friendship. It’s through watching your own sisterhood that I understand sacred relationships and the importance of surrounding yourself with women who ‘get you.’
There have been little – yet profound moments – where I know…you now get it. You get me.
It’s opening a yellow running jacket for Christmas that you knew I had to have and would love. It’s being given a necklace for no certain occasion titled ‘Sassy Bloom,’ that I haven’t taken off since receiving it. It’s you watching my children on a weekend when I’m working after already putting in your own 8-5 work week. It’s overhearing someone ask you what I do and having you respond with, “Well, she’s quite the little entrepreneur,” later adding that maybe you can someday retire early and work for Fellow Flowers. It’s the lock screen photo on your phone.
Love and support may come in different forms. We may be wildflower vs. white flower, but I’ve bloomed because you have nurtured me. You love me.
Happy Mother’s Day,